My old friend, Randy, called me this afternoon just to catch up. He brought up our friend, Carl, who died about 6 months ago, saying he felt like it was just finally catching up to him, the realization that Carl was dead. Or rather, as he put it, it wasn't that Carl had died that was hitting him, but the fact that he just was no longer available, that Randy couldn't simply pick up the phone and call him any more. It's a weird feeling when people die, the way it takes your mind a certain amount of time to really absorb the information. While I've known people who died before, they've usually been grandparents or parents of friends. Carl is the first person that died who, despite the age difference, had at one time been a part of my peer group when we worked together.

When I recently discovered an old friend I had lost touch with, I went almost immediately to British Columbia to see him. After I'd been there a couple of days, I asked him if he had wondered why I had come to visit so immediately after we'd gotten back in touch. He said he did wonder. And then I told him the story of Carl, how I hadn't talked to him for years and years because I knew we had a standing appointment on my 40th birthday and I knew he'd always be around...until so suddenly, he just wasn't anymore.

If anything, Carl's passing has come as a harsh reminder that none of us is getting any younger and that life is too short to wait for anything. I believe in the saying Carpe Diem, but it's so rare I find myself actually acting to that effect. I need to try to remind myself to do that more and more.